Anonymous said: hey so idk if you guys can say anything that'll help here but I've been feeling really really fucking sad lately I've dealt with depression for like 3 years now but it's super shitty now and I'm so apathetic it sucks so bad I feel really numb all the time but anyways I guess I started drinking a lot lately to try and feel something and I know it's bad for me because I'm underage but at this point it's kind of like fuck it I want to die anyways so sorry for bothering you guys
life is a shitty gift that no one asked for but like what if you meet a really cool dog soon? why would you not want to be around for the potential of spending time with a really fucking chill dog. i drink too much to deal with my anxiety disorder but have recently made some big steps towards getting that shit in check. i can’t give you actual advice on your depression. that shit is complicated and i feel like i would only come across as insensitive. i know you may have been told this before but spend time with the shit that makes you happy. waste no time with shitty mother fuckers or shitty situations. burn it down and walk away. watch futurama for 5 hours a day because that is better than real life.
"If you have been stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that happy things are tainted with sadness, the way smoke leaves its ashen colors and scents on everything it touches. And you may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down."
Lemony Snicket; The Grim Grotto (via feathershaw)
"He thought that in the beauty of the world were hid a secret. He thought the world’s heart beat at some terrible cost and that the world’s pain and beauty moved in a relationship of diverging equity and that in this headlong deficit the blood of multitudes might ultimately be exacted for the vision of a single flower."
Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses (via hardtobeasaintinthecity)
"Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them."
Brian Eno, A Year With Swollen Appendices (via experiencinghumanity)